If you knew me at all, you’d find it strange that I’m using blogging to record my life’s journey. I was raised to be an intensely private person, so putting my thoughts out there where they can be read by strangers is to say the least, to place myself at the judgement of others is a little out of character. I tried keeping journals and scrapbooking but with limited success. I found that I failed to capture my voice in journaling, often I felt my thoughts were too trivial and insignificant to commit to paper and so my journal became more a recording of events rather than my interpretation of those events. As for scrapbooking, there’s just not enough time to beautify one thought before another thought comes to mind.
So why the desire to try committing my story to ‘paper’ again? Well, a couple of years ago I was diagnosed with depression. It was probably brewing long before but I was diagnosed following a crippling breakdown at which point I withdrew from society almost completely, quitting my job as a vampire (that is to say a scientist in a hospital blood bank) and quite literally locking myself away in my room to cry non stop. After some time spent trying to mend, I returned to the Bead Room where I’d originally learnt to make jewellery. Little did I realize it would be the place that I would learn to be human again. It became my sanctuary, a place that I could quietly sit with my beads and learn to create. It gave me a much needed sense of achievement each time a piece was finished, or I managed to work out how a piece was constructed. It may sound like nothing, but it was everything to me when I felt moronic and incapable of doing anything right. It allowed me to be surrounded by people from all walks of life who shared my passion and who loved to gab as they worked. Slowly, I found myself joining in the banter and found that these people who didn't know me and whose judgement I feared were nothing but accepting of me and only too happy to share of themselves and their experiences.
Sadly the Bead Room has since become a predominantly online business (check out the range of findings and Czech glass beads on www.thebeadroom.com.au, you won’t find better elsewhere) and although Carina (the owner) does still teach, it’s only on specific days rather than dropping in unexpectedly. Since she closed her bricks and mortar shop, I have found myself wanting to recreate the atmosphere of welcoming, of creativity, of inspiration and learning, to share the joy and the knowledge that I have accumulated and so I made the decision to commit to making my own beading business.
This blog is meant to record and share my experiences; of depression and my journey to recovery, my attempts to create a business, of creative inspirations and creations and everything in between.
Till next time...